Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
