Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize