I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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