Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
