My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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