And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
