I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
