The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
