I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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