I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
