lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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