Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
