Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
