we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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