Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
