I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
