Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize