HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
