So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
