I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
