Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
