just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize