Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
