I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
