I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
