i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
