omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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