Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
