Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
