From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
