Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
