u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
