Pappa wants mamma naked
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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