Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
