Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
