do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize