When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
