i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
