Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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