is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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