So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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