Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
