Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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