I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My liver just broke up with me...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
