Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
