that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
