Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
