i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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