I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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