You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
