I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
