and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize