So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
