PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
