how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize