so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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