I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
