I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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