I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
