i permit you to call me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
