dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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