I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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